Male Call: Terms of Non-Endearment


 By James Roberts – There’s no question that the dating industry—and by dating industry we mean both online dating sites as well as coaching services—is big business. According to Judi Schindler, author of Husbands: An Owner’s Manual and the blog, “The Toilet Seat Must Come Down, it’s forecast to reach $3.2 billion by next year. […]

Male Call: We’re Not Your April Fool


 By James Roberts – Last October, we reported a statistical survey — yes, cold, hard facts that we didn’t even have to make up! — on the online cliché terms women use to prove that you like to be as similar to every other woman on the planet as possible. For example: “sense of humor,” […]

Male Call: What Shivers Your Timbers?


 By James Roberts – It doesn’t take a Robert Mueller to mull out what happened with your last relationship: All we need to do is look at what your dating profile says you don’t want. What the Male Call Advisory Board™ has discovered, ladies, through extensive, organic, non-GMO research consisting of about 30 minutes tracking […]

Male Call: Twelfth Day of Christmas


 By James Roberts – What a lovely surprise to find this delightful ditty being crooned outside the Male Call office the other night by a duo calling themselves the ‘Two Loves.’ We can’t say their poetic meter is particularly proficient but it’s at least as good as my dear cousin’s annual holiday versification — and […]

Male Call: Will You Be My ‘Partner in Crime?’


By James Roberts –  We are sometimes accused…OK, we admit…that some of the info we provide has no particular basis in reality outside the Male Call Advisory Board’s™ fevered imagination. But this month, we swipe a look at your favorite dating apps and present cold, hard data! First, Bumble, which bills itself as a location-based dating […]

Male Call: Your Photo Toolkit


By James Roberts – Ladies: We’ve talked before about plagiarizing phrases from other peoples’ 15-year old dating profiles (“looking for a partner in crime,” “looking for my best friend”) and your current obsession with pointless warnings (“no hook-ups,” “must have sense of humor”). Apparently, you haven’t been paying attention to our photo advice though, so […]

Male Call: Call Me By…A Name


By James Roberts – This month we tackle a subject that is bound to get us in trouble. But that’s how we roll! The question is: What to call adult persons of the “XX” DNA persuasion, also known technically as the homogametic sex or, if you want to go all Jane Austen on us, the […]

Male Call: The Ladies Lay Down Rules


 By James Roberts – We recently had occasion to hear some surprisingly firm guidelines for you guys from a group of online-dating ladies about “first meetings,” aka, the “meet ‘n greet.” First off, exactly what is a meet ‘n greet (henceforth MNG) and how does it differ from a “date?” The panel (and we use […]

Male Call: Time Waits For No One


 By James Roberts – The Male Call Advisory Board™ would like to call attention to some avoidable romance-killing waits perpetrated by certain bands, movie moguls and restaurants. Endless dance band codas. OK, so technically a coda is “a concluding musical section that is formally distinct from the main structure,” but many bar bands extend an […]

Male Call: The 12 Days Of Aggravation


By James Roberts – All many of us really want for the holiday gifting season is less aggravation. Here are a few empirical guidelines for you singletons. No use of the word “gifting.” Ok, but seriously… No matter how much holiday fun you’re having, don’t plan an extended vacation together until you’ve endured a road […]