Just Say Yes

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By Bonnie Moehle –

How did our Great Masters manage to stay peaceful during moments that bring out anger and fear for the rest of us?  How do we keep our peace when we have no control over others’ actions or the situations around us?  By letting go of the things we cannot change and saying yes to what is.

Many summers ago I came out to my car to find that it had been keyed.  Someone had taken three keys and scraped off the paint from the driver’s side door all the way to the front of the car.  I had no idea who had done this, nor was I even sure of when it had happened.  The only thing I was sure of was that I had three choices; two which would hold me in emotional pain, one which would help me regain my peace.

The first choice was to stay angry at the perpetrator and fearful about the repair costs.  If I had made that choice I would have spent the rest of the day, week, or even month working myself into a tizzy only to make myself sick.  That choice would not fix my car nor would it punish the perpetrator.  It would only serve to hold me in discomfort. My second choice was to distract myself from my feelings so that I wouldn’t have to deal with them.  If I did that, I knew I’d find myself at an ice cream parlor, using food to push the feelings down.  No good.  It was summertime.  I wanted to look good in my shorts.  My third choice was to accept – to say yes to what is.

I opted to accept.  This took a little doing.  First I had to recognize what I was feeling.  I was angry and fearful.  To help me release the anger, I reminded myself that nothing anyone says or does is about me.  Therefore, the person who had damaged my car didn’t do this to me.  I understood that this individual was in far more internal pain than I.  I also knew that if I held on to the anger, the only one who would feel punished would be me.  I would be carrying the pain of anger.  Next I had to deal with money fears.  I knew that worrying about money wasn’t going to make dollar bills fall out of the sky and would only make me feel terrible inside.  Talking this through with myself helped me to let go.  But, that wasn’t quite enough.  I had to release the feelings from my body or I would continue to hold the anger and fear inside.

We have been conditioned to believe that we rid ourselves from emotional pain by distracting ourselves from it, by creating a story about it or by rehashing it over and over in our minds. However, focusing on the cause of a feeling or the story around it will only serve to make the pain greater.   The only way to release emotional pain is by moving into it, not by avoiding it or obsessing about it.

So, I put my entire focus on how I felt.  I described the feeling to myself.  “It feels like a pressure,” “it feels like a big knot of muscle”.  I focused only on the physical sensation.  I stayed present to it until the feeling faded away.  It was easy to do and very effective and in no time I had released the anger and fear, and felt peace.  I had said yes to what is.  Sure, I still needed to fix the car, but I could now take care of it feeling stress-free and healthy rather than angry and fearful.

The next time you feel yourself holding on to an uncomfortable emotion, change your inner dialogue and then release the pain by moving into it.  Then you too can just say yes!

Inner Confidence Leads To Success In Business

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By Bonnie Moehle –

We would all like to be highly effective in our business or profession, and in our effort to make that happen, perhaps we develop a new marketing plan, learn some great sales techniques or create visibility on social media.  While these strategies are all important and helpful, if they are all we are doing, we are missing an essential component for business success – developing inner confidence.

I’m not talking about external confidence.  That’s what we feel when we accomplish a task, achieve a goal or close a deal.  Sure those all feel fabulous, however, they are fleeting and temporary, and when the excitement of the achievement wears off, we find ourselves feeling low, thus affecting our motivation and ability to reach our full business potential.

Inner confidence, on the other hand, is permanent. It never requires an action. It is just there, regardless of what we achieve or what other people think of us.  It is empowering, giving us greater motivation and the ability to handle anything, even if our business dealings haven’t turned out the way we had hoped.  It keeps us moving forward with energy and enthusiasm.

Inner confidence leads to behaviors that breed success.  Lack of inner confidence causes fear and defensiveness.  Have you ever seen two people read the same email and have a completely different interpretation of the same message?  The individual lacking in inner confidence will see the message as threatening or insulting, and then respond accordingly, creating conflict and discord in their business relationships.

When we develop inner confidence, we no longer have a need to be defensive, nor do we have an air of desperation and fear, which pushes potential partnerships, coworkers, clients and bosses away.  We become attractive to be around and others want to work with us because they know that they will be treated with honesty and integrity.  We become more motivated and fearless, as well – more willing to try new avenues and approach new prospects.

Inner confidence makes us compassionate and non-judgmental toward the people we work with.  It is never arrogant.  It makes those individuals who have it more authentic in the way they communicate.  It makes them great leaders.

“Leadership is not so much about technique and methods, as it is about opening the heart. Leadership is about inspiration – of oneself and of others. Great leadership is about human experiences, not processes. Leadership is not a formula or a program, it is a human activity that comes from the heart and considers the hearts of others. It is an attitude, not a routine.” – Lance Secretan, Industry Week, October 12, 1998

So, how do we build this confidence that comes from within?  By recognizing our own brilliance and focusing on our strengths rather than our faults.  By making it a daily practice to put our attention on what we do well, rather than spending our time beating ourselves up. What we focus on becomes our perceptions, behaviors and outcomes.  If we focus on our weaknesses we will promote weak behaviors.  When we focus on what is right about ourselves, we develop behaviors that lead to greater motivation, fearlessness, authenticity and compassion in our interactions and therefore, greater success!

A Peaceful, Happy Life Is Simply A State Of Mind

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By Bonnie Moehle –

Happiness and well-being are simply a state of mind.  If you want to change your life’s experiences, you can.  But to do it, you have to change the way you think.  We are taught that it is the people and situations in our lives that bring us our joy or unhappiness. We use jobs, relationships, material possessions and validation from others to achieve our feelings of success or lack.  These things do not bring us happiness or unhappiness.  It is our thoughts and reactions that dictate our level of happiness.

Observe your thoughts.  Have you ever observed two people reacting in completely different ways over the same situation?  What you are observing is how their thoughts and reactions create a different reality for each.  When you change your thoughts, you change your reality.  The mind believes that reality is whatever is imagined vividly and repeatedly.  Whatever you tell your mind over and over creates your behaviors, perceptions and experiences.  By observing and retraining your thinking you can release old patterns of stress, anger and illness, replacing them with peace, success and well-being.  Watch and alter your thoughts, inspiring new behaviors and perceptions and creating new experiences and a new reality as you change them.

Catch your reactions.  It is not the events in your life that cause your anger, stress, worry… It is thought that is creating these reactions.  Thought that you need to take things personally, that things should be different than they are, that you need to worry about your future or past.  Catch these reactions and ask yourself if they really help you or anybody else. If you get angry with the driver who cuts you off in traffic, will your anger teach him a lesson or does it just make you feel tension and stress?  If you worry about your finances, does it help to improve your situation, or does it make you feel fearful and less capable of moving forward?  Ask yourself these questions and let go of the reactions that serve no purpose.  Find a new perception and watch your experiences shift.

Align your thoughts with your desires.  Be sure that your self-talk matches your desires.  If you want to lose weight, you cannot keep thinking that you are fat.  If you would like more time, you will not get it by complaining about a lack of time.  Thoughts are like seeds.  If you plant a marigold seed you will grow a marigold.  Be sure that you are planting the seeds that match the desired experience.

Change your perceptions.  The driver who cut you off in traffic is rushing home to see his children.  The taxes at the end of the year are an indication that you were successful. Focus on what you have instead of what you don’t. The difficulties in your life are there to help you to grow.  The Chinese use the same word for crisis as they do for opportunity.  Find the opportunity and you will create a more peaceful joyful life.

Feeling Overwhelmed?

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By Bonnie Moehle –

Have you ever experienced a moment where you have a realization that changes how you approach life forever? Years ago, I was sitting in an automotive shop waiting to have tires put on my car. While I sat there, I made a list of the things I needed to accomplish over the next few days. As I wrote this extensive list of tasks, my body began to feel anxious. I felt overwhelmed.
I was just beginning to understand that everything I was experiencing in my life was the direct result of my thoughts and beliefs. So, I stopped. I took a moment and observed my thinking. “I’ll never get this done,” “What if…” “This is too hard,” “I’m so busy,” “Everybody wants a piece of me,” etc. As I began to notice my own thoughts I became aware that it was not the list of tasks that was causing my feelings of anxiety, but the thoughts I was having about the list.
I was also becoming aware that whenever my body felt uncomfortable, I was getting a message from, my Inner Guidance. I understood that my Inner Guidance is my personal ally that alerts me to moments when I am stuck in thinking that does not serve me. The discomfort in my body was the signal to take a look at my thoughts. I understood that once I observed my thinking, I would discover the cause of my discomfort. As I observed my thoughts, I could clearly see why I was feeling overwhelmed. Now I could make a choice. Did I want to attack my list of tasks while stuck in thinking that made it feel insurmountable, or did I want to change my thinking and carry out that same list in peace?
There are people who are always stressed and there are those who are relaxed. For those who are relaxed, life flows easily. It is not that they have less to do. They just approach their list a little differently. First, they catch their uncomfortable thoughts and change them to thoughts such as, “I have plenty of time,” “Everything will work out perfectly,” “I will get everything done, I always do.” Secondly, they live in the moment. They perform each task fully in the moment, concentrating only on the task at hand. Their thoughts are not on what they have to do next nor are they focused on what they did earlier.
The amazing result of making these simple changes is that everything gets done effortlessly, with more clarity and more efficiency. It is hard to flow through life when you are caught up in your mind worrying about what you have to do next. So the next time you feel overwhelmed, notice how your body feels. It is telling you to observe your thinking. Notice your thoughts and change them. And then…get into the moment. You will no longer feel overwhelmed and your life will flow.

Confidence Is An Inside Job

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By Bonnie Moehle –

“No one can make you inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

When I was in pre-school I went out for recess.  I had the time of my life.  I went running into the classroom, excited to share my joy with my teacher but instead she yelled at me for dragging in dirt from the playground.  It was confirmed in my mind.  I’m not good enough.  Then I went to grammar school and I got a B on my spelling test, and again it was confirmed.  I’m not good enough.  And when I wasn’t the most popular girl in my high school, again I wasn’t good enough.  I spent my life looking to my accomplishments and for approval from others to get my confidence.  It never worked.

Inner confidence, the kind of confidence we are all searching for, does not come from anything outside of us.  Approval from others, validation from our work, acquiring possessions and achieving goals only feel good temporarily.  I call this Outer Confidence – short term confidence…feels great, but without Inner Confidence, the feeling is fleeting and then we find ourselves searching for that next fix to make us feel good about ourselves.

True Inner Confidence comes from inside; from self.  It is a conscious choice we make to put our focus on what we love about ourselves instead of what we don’t.  It is an understanding that criticizing ourselves does not help us to improve but only saddens and paralyzes us.  Inner Confidence is not arrogant, as some might believe.  It is kind and compassionate. It makes us less judgmental of others and of ourselves.  It helps us to see the people we encounter in our daily lives through the eyes of love and wisdom.  We no longer take things personally.  We understand that the words and actions of others are not about us but about their perceptions and their needs.  It makes us more accepting.  It makes us better in business and in relationship.  With Inner Confidence we see the perfect soul in even the angriest person and feel compassionate, rather than offended or judgmental.

So love yourself.  Start right now.  Make a list of what you love about yourself and think about it every day.  Remind yourself of the kind, honest, creative, helpful things you do every day, such as, “I was nice to the people I met today.”  Use every life situation as an opportunity to find something to love about yourself.  Focus on the 200 terrific things you said in a conversation instead of the one comment you felt insecure about.  Those positive things about you are always there.  Choose to see them.  Don’t dwell on the negatives; use them as an opportunity to learn.  Catch the moments when you are being hard on yourself and shift your attention to what you do right.  Beating yourself up will not make you better. You reap what you sow, what you focus on you become. So stop focusing on your faults and celebrate your strengths!  This is how the real transformation begins to finding and feeling True Inner Confidence.

Just Say Yes!

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By Bonnie Moehle –

How do our great masters manage to stay peaceful during moments that bring out anger and fear for the rest of us?  How do we keep our peace when we have no control over others’ actions or the situations around us?  By letting go of the things we cannot change and saying yes to what is.
Many summers ago I came out to my car to find that it had been keyed.  Someone had taken three keys and scraped off the paint from the driver’s side door all the way to the front of the car.  I had no idea who had done this, nor was I even sure of when it had happened.  The only thing I was sure of was that I had three choices; two that would hold me in emotional pain, one that would help me regain my peace.
The first choice was to stay angry at the perpetrator and fearful about the repair costs.  If I had made that choice I would have spent the rest of the day, week or even month working myself into a tizzy only to make myself sick.  That choice would not fix my car nor would it punish the perpetrator.  It would only serve to hold me in discomfort.
My second choice was to distract myself from my feelings so that I wouldn’t have to deal with them.  If I did that, I knew I’d find myself at an ice cream parlor, using food to push the feelings down.  No good.  It was summertime.  I wanted to look good in my shorts.
My third choice was to accept – to say yes to what is!  I opted to accept.  This took a little doing.  First, I had to recognize what I was feeling.  I was angry and fearful.  To help me release the anger, I reminded myself that nothing anyone says or does is about me.  Therefore, the person who had damaged my car didn’t do this to me.  I understood that this individual was in far more internal pain than I.  I also knew that if I held on to the anger, the only one who would feel punished would be me.  I would be carrying the pain of anger.  Next, I had to deal with money fears.  I knew that worrying about money wasn’t going to make dollar bills fall out of the sky and would only make me feel terrible inside.  Talking this through with myself helped me to let go.  But that wasn’t quite enough.  I had to release the feelings from my body or I would continue to hold the anger and fear inside.
We have been conditioned to believe that we rid ourselves from emotional pain by distracting ourselves from it, by creating a story about it or by rehashing it over and over in our minds. However, focusing on the cause of a feeling or the story around it will only serve to make the pain greater.   The only way to release emotional pain is by moving into it, not by avoiding it or obsessing about it.

So, I put my entire focus on how I felt.  I described the feeling to myself.  “It feels like a pressure,” “it feels like a big knot of muscle.”  I focused only on the physical sensation.  I stayed present to it until the feeling faded away.  It was easy to do and very effective and in no time I had released the anger and fear and felt peace.  I had said yes to what is.  Sure, I still needed to fix the car, but I could now take care of it feeling stress-free and healthy rather than angry and fearful.
The next time you feel yourself holding on to an uncomfortable emotion, change your inner dialogue and then release the pain by moving into it.  Then you too can just say yes!

Living Happy With Chronic Illness

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By Bonnie Moehle –

What if you lived with a chronic illness or a disability – something that affects the way you feel, physically, every day?  Could you still live a happy, productive life?  The answer is yes – but it is all about the mindset.

People who are happy, in spite of their physical challenges have a few important things in common.  The most important is that they are in acceptance.  They don’t feel sorry for themselves, they don’t spend hours of their time asking “why me?” and they don’t hate their pain or disability – they embrace it.  So many of us hate our challenges because we believe that by focusing on “what’s wrong” that somehow it will make us better, or motivate us to find a solution. In reality, focusing on the negative only makes us feel sicker, and too tired to try something new.  When we accept our physical state, it may still be there, and it may be annoying, but it no longer determines the way we experience the quality of each day.  Acceptance is not resignation.  It does not mean that we no longer follow healthy pathways to deal with our illness.  When we fully accept, we actually become more creative and have innovative ideas as to how to work on and around our challenges.

Happy people don’t allow their minds to fear the future.  Patients with chronic illnesses feel down and depressed when they project into the future.  “What if I never get better?”  “What if I always feel ill?”  This kind of thinking causes more pain, symptoms and even depression.  Focusing on the present moment always helps.  Especially when the focus is on what is right rather than what is wrong and what they have rather than what they don’t have.  Practicing gratitude is an important part of what keeps them positive and productive.  And what if they never get better?  With the right mindset, life is joyful and fulfilling, anyway.

They find something they are good at or that they enjoy doing, and they do it.  Often it is something that serves others.  Serving others is extremely gratifying, keeps them in the present moment and helps them to keep moving forward in a productive way, even when their bodies aren’t feeling well.

They consciously choose the way they will experience their lives by monitoring their self-talk.  Negative self-talk about life and the future is caught and released and replaced with a focus on what they are capable of now, and visions of a positive and productive future, even if that future involves working around their challenges.  They see themselves as contributing to the world in whatever way they can, and they feel confident in themselves because they know they are capable of overcoming their physical challenges.

Living happy with chronic illness or disability is a mindset, it is acceptance, it is a choice. And, there are many wonderful coaches, teachers and motivators who can help with the tools to make that choice a reality.

Seven Keys To Fabulous Relationships

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By Bonnie Moehle –

Valentine’s Day has come and gone, and although that day can be filled with passion, many of us, by the very next day, have lost the romance and are back to our old patterns in relationship.  How can we maintain fulfilling relationships year-round, without having to wait for a special occasion?  Here are seven keys that can make the experience of real love a reality.

1.  Be happy within yourself.  This means that you monitor your self-talk.  Make sure it is focused on what you do right rather than what you do wrong; that you hold positive visions for yourself and the people around you.  It means that you see every uncomfortable moment as an opportunity; you live in the present moment rather than rehashing the past or fearing the future and it means that you let go of the need to control the things that you cannot.

2.  Accept your loved one as they are.  You can never, ever, ever change another person…and often, the things you want to change in another are behaviors and habits that they are perfectly comfortable with.  It is you who wants them to change, not them.  Besides, if you accept someone as they are, you feel loving and peaceful and they no longer feel judged by you. They are then able to show up in a much more loving and authentic way in the relationship because they feel accepted.

3.  Always remember that nothing anybody says or does is about you. Nor is anything you say or do about them.  All of our reactions and behaviors are based on our past experiences.  If we judge, it’s because we need to judge. If we are angry, it’s because we are attached to what we want and believe that anger will get it for us.  If we are controlling, it is because we are fearful that if things aren’t going the way we expect them to that our life will be negatively affected, so we criticize and find fault in order to manipulate others so that we can stay in control.  When you understand that the behaviors of others are about them and not about you, then you have compassion and understanding rather than hurt and anger and your relationship is free of conflict.

4.  Take responsibility for your own reactions and emotions.  Stop blaming your partner for how you feel, react and behave.  Your feelings, reactions and behaviors have nothing to do with them.  They have everything to do with you.  Have you ever seen two people read the same email and have a completely different interpretation of the meaning?  The confident person sees the email as positive.  The insecure person sees the content as an insult.  Your perceptions arise from what you think about.  Be aware that nobody causes your reactions and emotions – your perceptions are the cause.  Besides, when you blame others for how you feel you become a victim, because the only way you can feel better is by changing them…and that isn’t going to happen.  When you take responsibility for your own reactions (rather than blaming and trying to change the other person) and understand that your thinking creates your perceptions, you then open up a space for wonderful relationships.  When you view every button that gets pushed as an opportunity to see your own unhealed hurts, then the relationship becomes a wonderful vehicle for mutual growth between you and your mate…and personal growth leads to personal happiness, which is the basis for great relationships.

5.  Be authentic.  Always tell the truth.  Little white lies, for the purpose of protecting others or avoiding conflict, only turn into resentment or challenges later.  Be honest, without an agenda to change someone, but with the intention of expressing from your heart how you are feeling and perceiving.  This not only helps you to grow by taking responsibility for what you feel, but it creates incredible sharing and intimacy in the relationship.

6.  Practice gratitude.  You can do this by putting all of your attention on what is right about your mate rather than what is wrong and what you have rather than what you don’t have.  Be sure to share the beauty that you see so that your mate knows that he/she is appreciated.  In addition, notice how terrific you feel when you are focusing on the good in your mate rather than the bad.  When you feel great, it flows into your relationship.

7.  Love without conditions.  Most people don’t know how to love unconditionally.  Saying “I love you” is more of a question than a statement, with the hopes that there will be a positive response that will save them from their feeling of insecurity.  Give love simply for the sake of giving love.  Notice how you feel when you do.  When you give love unconditionally, you will feel so fulfilled that you will need nothing from anyone.  As a result, there will be no pulling, or clinging.  You will no longer look to your relationship to be your savior, and your mate will no long feel pulled at.

Many of us look at relationships as the pathway to completeness and wholeness.  Understand that nobody can make you whole or happy.  Happiness and the experience of wholeness comes from within you.  However, if you use the relationship to help you see into yourself and are able to grow and learn from that insight, then you will experience relationships that are beautiful, fulfilling and enduring.

Is Weight Loss Your New Year’s Resolution?

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By Bonnie Moehle –

It is that time of year again where we make resolutions. Surveys show that the number one New Year’s resolution is weight loss. So many of us set this goal and so many of us are unsuccessful at achieving it. Why? We are trying to change a behavior without really understanding and resolving the cause of that behavior. What we fail to understand is that hunger is not in the stomach…it is in the mind.

During my early teens and 20’s I was overweight. My favorite foods were sweets, pastas, breads and fried foods…and too much of everything. I had no sense of being full, and if the offerings were good I would eat until I was sick. I tried every diet. There was the grapefruit diet, the cabbage soup diet, the hot dog diet…but nothing seemed to work. What I came to discover is that letting go of weight was not about a diet. It was about awareness, beliefs and embracing and dealing with my emotions.

I would overeat regularly, probably every day. It had become such a habit that I was usually unaware of what I was doing until it was too late and I felt sick to my stomach. Then, I would beat myself up for what I had done. During my childhood, I came to believe that I wasn’t good enough. I believed that putting myself down would make me better…and I always had to be better. What I didn’t know is that beliefs create behaviors. When we believe we aren’t good enough, our actions and perceptions follow. I had self-destructive self-talk, therefore I had self-destructive behavior.

I tried to change my eating behaviors over and over again, but it wasn’t working. The few times that it did work it was only temporary. It was not the behavior that needed to change, but the underlying beliefs that were creating the behaviors. In addition to my negative self-talk, I was constantly telling myself that I was fat. What I know now is that when you tell yourself something repeatedly, the subconscious mind believes it and follows your instructions. I told my subconscious mind I was fat and it followed my instructions by influencing me to crave fatty foods, and eat whenever I felt uncomfortable. This would keep me fat and confirm that I wasn’t good enough creating an unstoppable vicious cycle.

Lastly, I didn’t know how to properly deal with my emotions. If I was happy I ate, if I was unhappy I ate. Because I didn’t properly deal with emotions, I would stuff them in with food or express them through food. Most people are not taught to properly deal with their feelings. They avoid them, bury them, distract themselves from them or get stuck in a story that makes them into a victim. Eating something yummy and delicious is always a fast and easy fix when we are even the slightest bit uncomfortable. When I learned to embrace my emotions rather than to avoid them, I no longer had to turn to food.

This was my story. For many that I have worked with, the weight is also a means of protection. “If I stay heavy, then people won’t expect much out of me.” “If people don’t like me I can blame the weight.” Or, “I had bad relationships in the past. The weight will protect me from future pain.”

For whatever reason we hold on to weight, the answer is not a diet. Yes, we must have a healthy eating plan, but in order to maintain it we have to love and accept ourselves, be self-aware and learn to embrace and resolve our emotions. When we do, then we not only let go of the old eating patterns, but we maintain a healthy weight for life.

What Is Happiness And Where Can I Get Some?

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By Bonnie Moehle –

What makes happy people happy? What is it that all of us are searching for? Why does it seem so elusive? What do we have to do to get there? The answer is actually quite simple. We have to stop looking outside of ourselves and turn within.

All of the things that we think will make us happy – a bigger house, more money, accomplishing a task, taking a vacation or getting the promotion, etc. – all feel great for a while. But they are also all just temporary fixes and once the initial excitement wears off we are right back to where we started – searching for that next thing that will bring us happiness.

But, happiness (except for the temporary kind) doesn’t come from things external, nor is it about how life will be better in the future someday when…  There is nothing to seek or search for or find in order to have it, because it is already there within us.

Happiness starts with self-love; an understanding that we are already whole and complete, that there is nothing that separates us from All That Is except for our mind, which convinces us that we are limited and separate and not enough. As a result, we believe that if we do more and get more, we will find that elusive happiness we are searching for. But this is not true. More is only a band-aid, a quick fix that vanishes. Internal happiness requires a different focus – one that keeps the mind in alignment with the truth of who we are; a focus that sees the pure potentiality that is already within us; a dedicated practice of self awareness and of letting go of identification with negative self-talk. It is impossible to be happy without self-love.

Presence is key to happiness as well. Our pain is brought on by our constant mental projections into the past and future; illusions that don’t even exist at the time we are thinking about them. In the present moment, there are no problems, only what is… and when we accept what is, we are always open to receiving new ideas and possibilities. When we keep our attention on the present moment, we are tuned in to what is arising in that moment and are able to act accordingly, like an athlete in the zone. We know things we didn’t know we knew and see possibility where our minds saw none. Presence is surrender, which means a letting go of the need to know, of stress and control – freedom! And a knowing that everything we need arises in the moment we need it and therefore worry is no longer a part of our repertoire.

Seeing every situation as an opportunity is also a must when it comes to maintaining peace and happiness. When hiccups happen in our lives, rather than hating them, we need to accept them and then see what the opportunity in that situation is bringing into our day. It is our reactions and responses to life that determine the quality of our life. Each new challenge brings us an opportunity to observe, and then work through, our own responses so that we can improve our ability to stay peaceful and joyful, regardless of the people and situations around us – the uncontrollables. Happiness is a commitment to letting go of blame – for taking responsibility for the only thing we can, our own reactions, and then changing them. There is nothing better than the feeling that arises from choosing to see a crisis as an opportunity and then successfully moving through it.

What is Happiness and Where Can you Get Some? It is self-love, it s surrender and it is acceptance of every situation as an opportunity. It is not something to seek or get more of. Just look inside.

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