Male Call: A Charted Conversation


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 By James Roberts –

A guy-pal — let’s call him “Jon” — related an interesting get-to-know-you phone convo that, sadly, ended less than gloriously. Or, perhaps that’s really the point of such conversations. You decide.

Backing up. Jon and the woman — let’s call her “Jan” — connected on Tinder. She seemed perfectly aligned with his ideals: politically, socially, age-wise and looks-wise.

He made the first move by sending a message about one of her pix. They palavered back and forth a few times a day for two weeks via Tinder comments, talking about whatever people talk about…work, travel, weather, do-it-yourself projects.

Finally, Jan made the bold move. She messaged something like “You are very interesting to me, but I don’t really like texting. Would you like to talk?” (Jon didn’t provide the exact wording.)

Jon sent her his phone number and later that day received a friendly text with her number: “It’s nice to know we’re on common ground in terms of politics. Let’s talk this weekend. Have a good evening.” (or words to that effect…again, Jon was too lazy to copy the exact wording.)

A few introductory text messages follow in which Jon learns that Jan lives across the Valley. Still, it’s really only 21 miles away. Having nothing planned for Saturday, Jon had an afternoon meet ‘n’ greet in mind; so early Saturday afternoon, he gives her a call.

According to Jon’s phone, they yakked about everything under the sun or more than two hours: religion, politics, travel, more politics (fortunately, they were exactly in tune on that), food, spirituality, school, what they’re currently reading, movies they’ve seen.

And that’s when Jan said, “So, we’ve been bantering for a while. But I’d like to know more about the real you.”

Jon reports that this confused him. He responded politely (so he says) with something like “Wait, haven’t we just covered everything from Morocco to meditation?”

Thus, began what the Male Call Advisory Board™ calls a “charted conversation,” aka “The Interview.”

  • Do you have any pets?
  • Have you been married or divorced?
  • Any kids?
  • How do you feel about vegetarianism?
  • What nationality is your name?

Jon admits that he was somewhat curt in his responses, mostly because he doesn’t like interviews, especially dating interviews. Having satisfied the basic data of age, photos, politics and location, he mainly wants to know if the person looks reasonably like their photo and see if there’s any personal chemistry — which you can only really get F2F.

The nationality question wasn’t too bad, he reports, but the follow-up question raised the red flag.

“So…that’s an interesting name…how do you spell it?”

Now, having blurted out his last name he was at a loss as to how he could politely refuse to spell it for her. So, he did.

But the conversation was now dead, over in two minutes…with no follow up on either side.

Lesson: The whole point of Internet dating sites is to get the basic facts out of the way before you agree to a meeting. And the purpose of the meeting is simply: Are you who you say you are?

So, ladies (and in our experience, it’s the ladies who seem to want to conduct “interviews”): Go ahead and do the messaging and texting but nothing happens until you go face-to-face.

Save the interviews for hiring an intern or pet sitter.

Need a guy’s perspective? Jot a note to Male Call at For more words, ideas and whimsy, visit

Photo by Chris Blakeley on / CC BY-NC-ND

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