Male Call: The Ladies Lay Down Rules


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 By James Roberts

We recently had occasion to hear some surprisingly firm guidelines for you guys from a group of online-dating ladies about “first meetings,” aka, the “meet ‘n greet.”

First off, exactly what is a meet ‘n greet (henceforth MNG) and how does it differ from a “date?” The panel (and we use that term loosely) of ladies (not loosely) was definitely in agreement with the guys.

An MNG is an arranged get together for romantic purposes between two people who have had some electronic or social media interaction but no face-to-face, in-person contact. They may have texted, phoned, IM’d or DM’d through Match, OKC, POF, Bumble, Tinder, Farmers Only or Haters (yes, it’s a real thing where people are matched according to what they hate). In some cases, they may have a great deal of information, in other cases, just a photo.

Now, we’ve talked before about how prospects of both persuasions manage to show misleading or downright dishonest pictures, lie about their height, weight and age. Two things all the ladies have in common: “they love to laugh” and “no hookups.” As for the guys, apparently, they all want hookups and don’t want to spend more than five minutes grooming for the meeting.

Personality? Well, that’s sort of the point of the MNG. That, and figuring out if the person has lied about their height, weight, age and love of laughter.

OK, so a “date” is when two people with romantic intentions who’ve previously met arrange to meet somewhere for some kind activity such as dinner, drinks, a concert, a hike or whatever.

Once upon a time, a date involved the guy picking the gal up at her residence and driving to their assignation. But nowadays it seems hardly anyone is brave enough for that.

But now, the MNG rules envelope, please:

  1. Guy always pays
  2. Second date must be arranged before the first meeting ends
  3. Minimum amount of time a woman feels she owes you: one hour
  4. No Groupons and definitely no coupons may be used.

Regarding Rule 1, we were informed that if the woman so much as offers to pay, even the tip, that’s the tip-off that she’s not interested. Exception: if the guy has to travel more than two hours to get to the meeting place.

There seems to be some wiggle room on Rule 2. Guy Rules suggest that a fella should wait at least one day before asking for the second date. This elicits snorts of scorn from the distaff side.

However, there is a definite exception to Rule 3: when the guy has obviously lied about his marital status…or height, then she can leave after a few minutes.

For Rule 4, interestingly, a separate panel (loosely speaking) of women declared that coupons/Groupons are “no problemo.” One lady said, “If you go out with a woman who is so money-obsessed that she disdains a Groupon, you need to find a different date.

Oh, and Rule 5. Guys: never say “ladies” unless you’re directing them to the restroom.

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