Male Call: Time Waits For No One


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 By James Roberts

The Male Call Advisory Board™ would like to call attention to some avoidable romance-killing waits perpetrated by certain bands, movie moguls and restaurants.

  1. Endless dance band codas. OK, so technically a coda is “a concluding musical section that is formally distinct from the main structure,” but many bar bands extend an otherwise lively dance tune into seemingly endless drum riffs and lead guitar flourishes. See the problem is, we dancers only have a certain number of moves and after about five minutes, we’ve pretty much used them up. But there’s no graceful way to exit the floor, mid-riff. We know, the band is working itself up to fever pitch for a series of grand finales, but give us dancers a break. We’d either like a new beat or a chance to canoodle.
  2. “Date movies” over 100 minutes. Unless your name is Lawrence of Arabia or Spartacus you really ought to have a heart for new couples on their second date (you’d never take a prospective romantic partner to a movie on the first date, would you? Please say “no.”). We’ve got nothing against a good epic if the bridge over the River Kwai needs to be blown up or Ben is about to be Hur’d. But couples in their EDP (early dating period) like to spend their get-acquainted time having fascinating conversations and exchanging smoldering glances, not squirming in a movie seat. So, movie date-planners, check the running time before you run out of time.
  3. We’ve saved the worst for last: Valentine’s Day dining out. There’s hardly a deal-killer more devastating than chilling for 75 minutes in a restaurant lobby. So, V-Day date-planners, figure on home-cooking or maybe even try a picnic.

A timeless relationship may be waiting for you…but not too long.

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