Male Call: Just The Facts, Ma’am


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Click to read more about James Roberts.

 By James Roberts

As tax time rolls around we begin to think about make-believe as we try to convince the TurboTax software that our home office really takes up the entire family room and patio spa. So we thought it might be a good time for an antidote of reality with a round of factation.

While we’re thinking about money, let’s start with personal finance website GOBankingRates, which surveyed a variety of cost factors in each state to find where it’s easiest to keep divorce costs low. Turns out, Arizona comes in around the middle, at #20, while California ranks #1 – the most expensive state in America to file for divorce. In case you’re really serious about this, Wyoming and the Dakota were the cheapest.

For you word factsmiths, New York artist R. Luke DuBois made a digital census map of the U.S. based on dating site profiles. His project, “A More Perfect Union,” includes a map with the most common words used in online dating profiles in various cities. Dubois actually joined 21 different sites on your behalf for this project, surveying 19 million Americans.

Arizona dating census mapEach word on his road map appears in a place where it’s used more frequently than anywhere else in the country. NYC’s word was “now.” Washington D.C. was “interesting.” The capital of Alabama, Montgomery, snagged “conservative.” Phoenix…wait for it…was “Diamondback.” (Other metro Phoenix words included “risky,” “tan,” “jeans,” “carefree,” “pettiness” and then, further north, “rustler,” “cleavage,” “fossil,” “belly” and “candied.” What are you kids up to on the high plains!)

He does have one pretty interesting observation. “Usually there’s two paragraphs, one where you lie – where talk about yourself – and one where you tell the truth – where you talk about the person you want to be with.”

Turning to photos, including your besties in your profile pics is a big no-no. As much as the Male Call Advisory Board™ continues to rant about this, people who use group shots including themselves see 42 percent fewer messages than those who fly solo, according to a 2015 Time magazine article “Data-Backed Tips to Boost Your Online Dating Game.”

Meanwhile, if you’re posing in your main photo with your four-legged bestie, prepare for a 53 percent downhill slide.

We hate to say this, but female profiles with selfies get four percent more messages – while guys suffer an eight percent decrease. Full-body photos users (either men or women) garner 203 percent more inquiries.

Now all you risky, tan, jean’d folks better get going on your taxes since you know, as Steve Miller says, what the facts is.


Need a guy’s perspective? Jot a note to Male Call at jrobertpenn@aol.com or check out the Male Call archives at www.words-in-action.com.


Photo credit: shutterbean via Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND
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