Take The Pledge


Click to read more about James Roberts.

By James Roberts

A saddened reader reports: “The thing is, my own authentic old school self-portrait collection is now rendered not only uninteresting, but even mildly annoying.”

What she’s talking about are “selfies” ─ a word I introduced to the language, though the Oxford dictionary likes to take credit since it was technically before me.

I predict that selfies will soon join the ranks of leisure suits, 8-track tapes, ionized water, mullets, family holiday poems with bad rhyming and worse meter, colored Wite-Out, MySpace, planking and twerking and, of course, gluten-free non-gluten products – that is, things that seemed like good ideas to certain people at the time but now are embarrassing symbols of bandwagon fads…except on social media and dating sites, we’ve been informed.

Thus it is that the Male Call Advisory Board™ is calling for you…yes, you, Ms. Snapchatting, Android-grasping, incessant-texting, wine-pairing, Vodka Monster-drinking clubber…to take the pledge, or risk being inducted into the Selfie Wall of Shame:

“I will never hold a smartphone outstretched to take a picture in a club where it’s obvious no one else in the world wants to see the picture enough to photograph us. I will never prance around in my cluttered bedroom or bathroom when I could simply set a real camera’s self timer to take a dignified picture. I acknowledge that there is a true art to taking a self-portrait and will not clutter up Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and other fly-by-night social media outlets with my self-indulgent putterings.”

And this brings us to the next social offense: excessive smartphone-at-the-club photos.

It’s one thing to ask a passer-by to take a pic of you in front of the Eiffel Tower, running the bulls in Pamplona or even jumping out of a plane. It’s quite another to inflict a continual barrage of you and your gal pals all pressed together as though you were at a Ya-Ya sisterhood reunion, or with arms draped around random fellas who just happened to be standing there.

Next time you’re memorializing a Meetup, how about catching unposed people in the act of actually being themselves? And when you do Facebook the shots, could you at least take a moment to get the tags aligned to the people properly?

Don’t make us work up another pledge!

Need a guy’s perspective? Jot a note to Male Call at jrobertpenn@aol.com or check out the Male Call archives at www.words-in-action.com


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