Male Call: Take Heart – Valentine Resolutions


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By James Roberts

How ya doing with those New Year’s resolutions, gentle reader? Totally busted already, right? That’s one reason I don’t even bother. Even when I set the bar pretty low ─ no more citizen’s arrests, humming the theme from “Green Acres” or attempting to move small objects with my mind ─ I find myself slacking off by Groundhog Day.

I don’t feel too bad though. According to a 2007 study by British psychologist Richard Wiseman, 88 percent of all resolutions fail.

In medieval times, knights took the so-called “peacock vow” at the end of the Christmas season each year to re-affirm their commitment to chivalry.

Good luck seeing that, ladies.

Then there are those wacky ancient Babylonians who made promises to their gods at the start of each year that they would return borrowed objects and pay their debts.

Excuse us for a moment while the Male Call Advisory Board™ rolls its collective eyes and snorts.

However, perhaps there is something to be salvaged from the concept of yearly resolutions.

I’m calling them “Valentine’s Resolutions” – small, externally focused things that don’t take much time but give you and yours a glimmer of gratification.

  1. Remember what it was like when you were courting your sweetie and try to do something unexpectedly generous for him or her once a month.
  2. Smile at checkout clerks and baggers.
  3. Stop beating yourself up for things you forgot or neglected; it’s not attractive. Apologize, make amends and get on with things.
  4. Stop thinking you’re “younger than you look” ─ be younger than you look.
  5. Cut out the “humble brags” – “I’m a terrible liar;” “I’m just too honest for my own good;” and “I can’t take credit for my good looks; I was just blessed with good genes.”
  6. S’more stuff to stop saying: “just sayin’,’” “at the end of the day” and, for you wine aficionados, “fruit forward.”
  7. Try putting yourself “in harm’s way” at a social event ─ don’t plant yourself at a table; get away from your posse and mix it up.
  8. Make a genuine compliment to someone you don’t know. And last but not least…
  9. Promise to clean up your MeetUp and dating profile pictures: no mirror selfies, fuzzies or scowlies and definitely no club shots of you posing with your BFFs.

All right, all right. Perhaps a couple of these are just my own personal beefs, included so I could end up with a nice odd number a la Cosmopolitan. But I would be delighted to hear your own valentine suggestions ─ especially if they involve telling me how youthful and generous I am.

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  1. Rose Margarella says:

    Enjoyed James article with his basic common sense reminders that we do seem to forget. It is the little things/getures of kindness and love that will always remain truly memorable. We all need to practice them every day and make it a habit.

    Thanks James for bring them back in my life.


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