Acceptance Is Not Resignation


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By Bonnie Moehle –

We’ve all been told to appreciate what we have, to be tolerant of the people and situations in our lives – to accept. And yet, we often have difficulty being accepting. Our programming is filled with contradictions. We are told to accept, yet we believe that if we do we are “giving in” and are therefore stuck with what we have. We think that if we accept the actions of others that they will get away with something and we will lose power. We are taught that if a situation in our life is other than what we wanted that we should try to manipulate and control it.  We justify our non-acceptance, which holds us in repeated patterns and takes away our clarity.

What we fail to understand, is when non-acceptance causes us to hate “what is” (the things we cannot change or control), we feel stress. We focus on what we are unhappy about or how our life will be better someday, and we lose our ability to experience the peace, the joy and, the inspiration that are always there for us when we accept. Rather than feeling inspired to move forward, we stay trapped in the illusion of a past and future that don’t even exist. We feel anxious, tired and debilitated. We are so caught up in the non-acceptance that we can’t see that other options are right in front of us.

Acceptance is not resignation. True acceptance happens through the practice of presence, which eliminates the reactions that hold us in fear and victim-hood. When we are present, we are able to see the opportunities that are arising for us in that very moment.  We have energy that propels us forward. Acceptance doesn’t mean we have to like what is happening. It just means that we peacefully allow it and then through presence are open to receiving new possibility.

A friend of mine had cancer.  I suggested that he stop trying to fight the cancer and instead accept it. This may sound like the opposite of what he’d need to do, but for many, fighting cancer means hating it. Some become angry victims or worry incessantly. A lack of acceptance creates tension in the body, which impedes the ability to heal and contributes to illness. By accepting the cancer, the body is no longer tense and the natural pharmacy within can do its job. When he accepted, he became less caught up in fear and found that he was then able to make the best possible choices to help his healing process – choices that hadn’t even come to his awareness until he accepted.

When we have to perform a task we dislike, hating it makes doing it a miserable experience that seems to take forever and is filled with mishaps. When we perform the task with acceptance we find that it goes smoothly and quickly and if we are truly in acceptance, we feel peace as we perform it.

If we are passed up for a promotion at work, anger will merely serve to get us passed up again next time. Acceptance gives us the clarity of mind to see the steps we need to take next. Maybe we will be inspired to improve our performance. Perhaps it is time to re-evaluate and work somewhere else. Nothing in life happens to us, it all happens for us. Through acceptance we see this gift. Then when one door closes, an even better one opens.

Non-acceptance keeps us angry, fearful, worried, anxious, etc…we feel trapped. How can we experience our inspiration when we feel like that? Acceptance is freedom. It gives us the ability to receive inspiration, which opens the door for new possibility.  Once we truly accept, ideas come to us easily and effortlessly and we find that the innate drive within us to move forward is much more effective, keeping us in a joyous flow of life.

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